Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Chapter 10 part 2

Word count: 598
Total: 19,611
It's my week off, and I have a head cold. I feel like shit, so I'm not getting much done. I'm really starting to doubt that I will reach 50,000 words in the next 7 days. But we'll see.

The hotel was only a few blocks down the road. They checked in, but didn't bother to go up to their room. Instead they went back to the car and headed to the restaurant. At least Skip thought they were going to a restaurant. In fact they were heading to an event. Skip knew he was in for some new form of madness when they pulled into a crowded stadium parking lot. A giant banner hanging above the stadium entrance read "Special Needs Glutton Bowl."

"What the fuck is this?" Skip asked, as they from the car toward the entrance.

"It's a good old fashioned eating contest." Imp replied. "What's the matter, I thought you were hungry?"

"Yeah, but why would that make me want to watch other people eat? And why does it say 'special needs' glutton bowl?" Skip asked.

"You aren't going to watch other people eat, I've entered you in the contest. And special needs means retards. It's a retard eating contest." Imp said.

"You've entered me in an eating contest against a bunch of retards? Don't you think someone will notice that I'm not retarded?" Skip protested.

"Don't flatter yourself." Imp replied. "Just go along with it, no one will question you. Trust me."

"Is there really any trust involved when I don't have a choice?" Skip asked.

"You're right." Imp said. "And since you don't have a choice, why don't you quit bitching about it. Look on the bright side, you'll get all the cow brains you can eat at no charge."

"They're eating cow brains? That's just wrong. Feeding cow brains to retards and calling it entertainment, that's just wrong." Skip said.

"Hey now, they prefer to be called mentally challenged. And just because they're a bunch of retards doesn't mean they don't have the same right to compete in a cow brain eating contest that you do." Imp said.

"Yeah, but if they're retarded, then they don't understand what they're doing, and the people running this show are just exploiting them." Skip said.

"So what? That's the nature of entertainment. Entertainers are all mentally ill. You have to be mentally ill to need that much attention. And just because they don't understand it doesn't mean they don't have the right to do it. I mean they let them vote for fucks sake, why shouldn't they have the right to be exploited like every other entertainment." Imp said.

"Oh Christ there's no sense arguing with you. Lets just get this over with." Skip said.

They arrived at the front of the stadium and followed a sign that directed them to the participant entrance. After traversing a backstage area they found the contestant sign in area. The lady sitting at the sign in table flipped through a magazine as Skip signed in.

Without even looking up she pointed to her left and said, "Down the hall, second door on the right."

Down the hall, behind the second door on the left there was a locker room. In the locker room there were scores of people bustling about as if it were a real sporting event. Only the "athletes" in this case were all drooling and cross eyed.

The door to the locker room office opened, and out stormed an attractive woman wearing a tight red dress. Behind her a naked man with down syndrome stepped out of the door.

"Fine bitch!" He yelled at her with a slur, while holding an enormous erection in his right hand. "I will suck my OWN cock!" He went back into the office and slammed the door.

2 Comments:

Blogger James said...

That had to be the most offensive chapter yet... you outdid yourself, ed.
I liek the choice of tool song used on the gangster. I think I would have personally used hooker with a penis, though. Plus, Aenima is six and ahalf minutes long. Seems like a bit of a long red light?

8:14 PM  
Blogger ShutUpEd said...

You're right, the song is long. I'll have to fix that when I edit. This chapter's not over yet. It's going to be the longest chapter so far. The next chapter should be pretty offensive too.

8:19 PM  

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