Thursday, November 25, 2004

Chapter 10 part 4

Word count: 807
Total: 21,034
Wow this chapter is getting long, and I'm still not done with it.

Skip ate like a madman. He paid no attention to the slobbering lunatics on either side of him. He didn't notice voracious consumption of cow brains, or the roar of the crowd, or the drool that was flying everywhere. He also didn't realize that he was winning.

Instead of getting full, he was growing more famished. Each cow brain he ate just made him want to eat two more. The other trainers were prodding and whipping their athletes, livid with the prospect of an unknown winning their coveted prize.

An air horn rang out, and everyone stopped eating. Skip came out of his brain eating frenzy, and looked around. A judge approached him and raised his hand in victory. Confetti dropped from the light rigging above the stage, and the crowd roared with applause.

The trainers threw down their whips and their cattle prods in frustration. The retards got angry at the site of Skip winning. They had been whipped and beaten worse than normal, and their jealously combined with their anger at their coaches to create a deadly cocktail of blind retarded rage. The competitor sitting next to Skip, a large man with Down syndrome, got up and wiped the drool and gray matter from his chin.

He shoved Skip back and said, "That's not fair! You cheated!"

The competitor on the other side of Skip stood up and said, "Yeah, not fair!"

The other retards started yelling, and security guards came up on the stage to calm the situation. Someone at the opposite end of the table lobbed a half eaten cow brain through the air in Skip's general direction. The brain missed Skip and struck the angry man with Down syndrome in the back of the head.

The angry retard grabbed a brain out of his bowl and threw it back to the other end of the table. Pandemonium broke out, as cow brains started flying back and forth on the stage. The security guards tried in to settle the angry mob of mental misfits, but it was in vain. The coaches had fled the stage, and without them there was no calming their athletes.

Skip managed to get off of the stage before he was dismembered. He and Imp made their way back to the locker room as the chaos continued.

"Nice eaten Tex." Imp said when they were safe within the confines of the locker room.

"I never knew cow brain could be so delicious. I'm guessing you had something to do with that." Skip said.

"You're guessing right. Now that we've beaten them at their own game, let's go squelch the riot." Imp said.

"How are we going to do that?" Skip asked.

"With this." Imp opened one of the lockers to reveal a set of riot gear.

"You've got to be kidding." Skip said.

"Really Skip? Do I ever really kid?" Imp replied, and started handing Skip pieces of riot gear.

Skip sighed, and put the gear on. Imp changed out of his Moses robe, and into the riot gear as well. Imp handed Skip a club and a shotgun, and they were ready to go.

When they came back to the inside of the stadium, they saw that food fight had deteriorated into a real full-blown riot. People from the audience had jumped onto the field to join in the fight. The security guards were lying unconscious, or dead. A few of the coaches had come back out attempting to rescue their investments, but they too were now lying unconscious, or dead.

"Looks like we're going to need back up." Imp said.

From the door they just walked through more men clad in riot gear came. They formed a line behind Skip and Imp. Imp stepped out a few paces and turned to face the men.

"Men" he said, "A day may come when society allows retards to riot in the streets! A day may come when political correctness will prevent decent men from stomping out the uprising of a mob of angry halfwits! But it is not this day! This day we fight!"

The men shouted their approval. Imp turned back toward the rioting retards, and charged. Skip ran along with him, without giving any thought to what they were about to do. The riot troopers charged behind them with their clubs raised in the air.

They charged up to the stage, and began clubbing anything that moved. Skip saw the man who had shoved him earlier running toward him. Skip didn't even hesitate to crack the man square between the eyes with his club. The man stumbled back and started to move forward again. Skip raised his shotgun and fired. He hit the man in the face, and his brains splattered all over the table.

"I wonder if those would taste like pizza too?" Skip asked himself.


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