Friday, November 05, 2004

Chapter 2 continued

Word Count: 1349
Total: 4963
Leave a comment, let me know how you think it's going.


The second he hung up, the phone rang again. Skip just looked at it. There was no way he was going risk talking to anyone else as crazy as the man with whom he just spoke. Instead he just let it ring, and after a short period it stopped. Skip just sat there and listened to the conversations going on around him.

Even though he could not hear what the callers were saying, the words of the other workers lead him to believe that everyone who called Blamtech customer service was insane. Skip was soon drawn out of his rare meditation by the sound of a commotion coming from several cubicles down the row.


When he sat up to see what was going on the cord attached to his headset very nearly ripped the phone off of the desk. Skip yanked the headset off and threw it on the floor. He then stepped outside his cubicle only to be tackled by Imp.

The other employees forgot about their inane meaningless conversations as they watched this furry little creature standing on top of Skip's chest. Imp looked up at them watching him and said, "You got a fucking problem?"

With reluctance they all went back to their phone calls. Imp stepped off Skip's chest and said, "Weren't you paying attention when the man said your world was about to end? What the fuck you doing at work nigga?"

Skip caught his breath just enough to say, "You sound like a large black man, not like an Ewok."

"You sound like a little bitch." Imp said sternly.

"What are you doing here?" Skip asked, as if he were talking to a friend who had just dropped by unexpectedly, rather than a creature unlike any other on the planet.

"That's what I was asking you. Most people, if you told them they was gonna die, they would go out and party. But this nigga here, he goes to work. Shit, you haven't worked a day in your life, you picked a hell of a time to start." Imp was now sitting on Skip's desk, playing with the headset.

"I thought it was just a dream or something, I thought I was just losing my mind. I thought…oh fuck I don't know what the fuck I though. I just know I'm lost somewhere in an office building talking to a hairy midget with Star Trek ears." Skip plopped down in his chair.

Imp put on the headset and pressed a button on the phone. It rang and he answered it, "Thanks for calling Blamtech asshole."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Skip yelled.

"Oh yeah?" Imp said to the caller. "Well how about you get the dick out your ass and shut the fuck up cock licker?"

Skip started pressing buttons on the phone in desperation until he managed to disconnect the call. "Jesus, what's wrong with you!"

"I thought you didn't believe in all that religious bullshit." Imp said.

Skip responded only with a sigh.

"Ok fuck nuts, since you're gonna be such a little bitch, here's the deal. You remember when the man told you that I was going to be your guide? Well that wasn't fucking optional. I'll lead you to the end of this shit by your fucking balls if I have to."

"You sure have a foul mouth." Skip said.

"Well I'm what you might call 'all powerful', so I'll say whatever the fuck I want." Imp seemed to be getting irritated with Skip's back talking. "Listen, I didn't come here for stimulating conversation. I'm here to fuck some shit up. So what do you say we get this shit rollin?"

"You're the all powerful one, why are you asking me?" Skip said with monotone disinterest.

"You know, you're right." Said Imp, and he then jumped back into the isle and threw his hands out to either side. When he did the building began to shake. The workers noticed quickly and soon panic was rampant throughout the office. The deranged old ladies and drug addicts who made up the majority of Blamtech's customer service department were soon stampeding towards the exits.

Skip didn't know how to find an exit, so he just grabbed the walls of his cubicle and tried to keep his balance. "What are you doing now?" he yelled at Imp, who ignored him.

The ceiling tiles began to fall, and the florescent bulbs began to shatter and spark. In the middle of the room several of the cubicles began to rise above all the others. A circular platform appeared to be coming up from the floor, pushing everything out of is way. Imp threw down his arms and ran towards the platform.

The building stopped shaking. Skip turned to see Imp take a flying leap to the top of the platform. Everything in his way went flying in all directions. A fax machine smashed into the back of an old ladies head, causing her to loose her grip on her walker and fall to the floor. Imp didn't seem to care.

The lights all went out, and a spotlight appeared on Imp in the middle of the platform. He now had a microphone in his hand. "Ladies and gentlemen…" he said in a perfect Michael Buffer impersonation, "Lets get ready to usher in the apocalyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyypse!"

As he continued to carry the "y" syllable, the sound of heavy metal music began to play from an unseen source. More lights began to highlight the stage. Fog drifted over the rest of the room. And then Imp began a stirring rendition of Marilyn Manson's "Get Your Gun."

"God Damn your righteous hand!" he crooned, and the room began to shake again.

Skip didn't bother trying to hold on to the cubicle this time. He started running, although he didn't know where. He soon tripped over one of the many pieces of debris. When he got back to his feet he looked to the platform to see Imp was no longer there. The music was still playing, but Imp was not there.

Skip turned around to see the creature flying through the air straight toward him. Skip tried to get out of the way, but it was too late. Imp swooped down on him like a bird after a field mouse, snatching him up into the air, and then towards the wall. Together they crashed through the windows and into the warm air outside.

14 stories of thin air now separated Skip from the pavement, and Imp let go. Skip screamed as he plunged toward the busy street below. What he did not see as he fell was the purple goo that was spewing out from a manhole cover and forming a giant bubble. The bubble was 2 stories tall by the time skip reached it, and it padded his fall quite well. Skip's momentum carried him deep inside the gelatinous mass, which expelled him gently out onto the street covered in purple slop. Skip caught his breath and scrambled away from the mess, trying in vein to clean himself with his hands.

As he stumbled away a blast of water hit him in the face, catching him by surprise and disrupting his balance. Skip stepped backward and tripped, landing flat on his back. Above him Imp appeared holding what appeared to be a seltzer bottle.

"You should be more careful, that purple shit probably stains." Imp mocked him. Skip started to reply but was cut off by another blast in the face. Imp then tossed the bottle to his side, and held his hands above his head. There a black circle appeared in the air, and a large gush of water poured out to clean the rest of the sludge off of Skip.

"What's the matter, you didn't like my singing?" Imp said, and then looked toward the juggernaut of purple goo. In a dead on Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation he said "Come with me if you want to live." With that he began walking away on the sidewalk like he was just taking a stroll to the park.

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