Sunday, November 07, 2004

Chapter 5 Office Politics part 1

Word Count: 844
Total: 8773

Skip ran down the stairs with man close behind. They came to another door, and the man yelled again, "There! Go through that door!"

Skip opened the door and hurried inside. The man followed, and closed the door. He then pulled down a large metal pipe that had been rigged to act as barricade. Skip looked around and saw that he was in a parking garage. There were men wearing security guard uniforms waiting for them.

"This way." The scruffy looking one on the left said, motioning with his head.

Skip walked with the men until they reached another door. On the other side of this door was an office, and a few more people. As he looked around at the frightened faces Skip heard a familiar voice come from behind a desk.

"Thought you'd never make it." Said Imp, walking out from behind the desk, lighting a cigar.

"What now? Who are all these people?" Skip asked.

"Haven't you ever watched any zombie movies Skip? These are the zombie fodder?" Imp said.

"Huh?" Skip said.

"In every zombie movie you'll ever see, there's always a few characters who lock themselves away in a building and fight off the zombies. There's always at least one black guy, a couple of chicks, and at a handful of white guys." Imp explained.

"I can't believe we're all listening to a talking monkey." One of the white guys said with irritation.

"This guy right here," Imp said pointing to the man who just spoke, "His name is Ted, and he is the asshole of the group. There's always one guy that no one likes, and who, at some point a few of you will leave the safety of the office on some fool's errand, and when you come rushing back, with the killer zombies right on your heals, this prick won't open the door." Imp blew a smoke ring toward the man.

"That guy there," Imp pointed to one of the office workers, "His name is Tyler, and he's been bitten by a zombie, or as everyone likes to call them 'those things.' The security guards, Terry and Terrence, they'll want to kill him now, before he turns into a zombie, but the dames, Tara and Tiffany, they are real bleeding heart liberals, and they won't allow it." Imp was speaking with uncharacteristic clarity.

"And this guy here," Imp pointed, "his name is Todd. He's the only surviving member of a sexual addiction support group that meets next door. He's only here for comic relief. Not that we really need it with me around."

"How come everyone here has a name that starts with a T?" Skip asked. "That's very confusing."

"Don't worry, they'll all be dead by the end of this chapter anyway." Imp said.

"What chapter? What the hell is he talking about?" Ted asked. "and why am I the only one who thinks its odd that a monkey can talk?"

"Hey!" Tiffany chimed in. "Be nice, monkeys have feelings too."

"Oh, Holy Christ with a stick up his ass, give me a fucking break!" Ted yelled.

"Ok people, just calm down." Another man said. "If we want to get out of this alive, we're going to have to cooperate with each other.

"Oh I almost forgot to introduce Tim." Imp said. "He's the natural leader, who mediates between everyone, and comes up with the risky plan for escape."

"Now I don't know about you, but I don't want to die here." Tim continued, paying no attention to Imp's comments. "There's no food in this office, and if we don't find a way out of here, we're all gong to starve to death."

"How long have you all been down here?" Skip asked.

"About 30 minutes." Terrence answered.

"You've been down here 30 minutes, and you're already talking about starvation?" Skip asked.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with thinking ahead." Said Tim. "Now there's a closet full of weapons in the security office. I say we get those weapons, and try to make it to the shelter they were talking about on the radio."

"Maybe we should all sit around and sing show tunes instead." Imp said.

"I'm not going anywhere without a gun." Ted protested.

"I will go with Terry and Terrence." Tim said. "We all have guns, so we can make it. We'll go to the security office, get the weapons, and bring them back here. Then everyone will be armed to the teeth, and we can all go to the shelter."

"I'm not staying here waiting for him to turn into a zombie." Ted protested again, this time pointing at Tyler.

"Well what's it gonna be then? Are you gonna stay here, or are you gonna go with us?" Tim said.

"How about you just tie Tyler to a chair with some phone cord, in a the naive hope that medical science can actually come up with a cure for being dead." Imp said.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea." Tim said. "Tiffany, gather up all the phone cord you can find."


Blogger James said...

You've captured the Zombie Movie cliche very well. Good job. It looks and sounds just like the new Dawn of the Dead.

1:20 AM  
Blogger ShutUpEd said...

Thanks. I'm just glad someone is reading it.

10:06 PM  

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